diff --git a/R/smack_my_bitch_up.R b/R/smack_my_bitch_up.R
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..7257f88
--- /dev/null
+++ b/R/smack_my_bitch_up.R
@@ -0,0 +1,34 @@
+library(httr)
+
+today = Sys.Date()
+
+# skip weekends
+if( weekdays(today) %in% c('Saturday','Sunday') ){
+  quit()
+  }
+
+# exit if no sessions with my username are found
+output = system("who", intern = TRUE)
+if( !( grep('^my_user_name', output) ) ){
+  quit()
+  }
+
+# returns 'None' if the key doesn't exist
+TWILIO_ACCOUNT_SID = Sys.getenv('TWILIO_ACCOUNT_SID')
+TWILIO_AUTH_TOKEN  = Sys.getenv('TWILIO_AUTH_TOKEN')
+
+# Phone numbers
+my_number = '+xxx'
+her_number = '+xxx'
+
+reasons = c(
+  'Working hard',
+    'Gotta ship this feature',
+      'Someone fucked the system again'
+      )
+
+POST(paste("https://api.twilio.com/2010-04-01/Accounts/",TWILIO_ACCOUNT_SID,"/Messages.json",sep=""),
+          body = list(From=my_number,To=her_number,Body=sample(reasons,1) ),
+	            authenticate(TWILIO_ACCOUNT_SID,TWILIO_AUTH_TOKEN) )
+
+print( paste("Message sent at",Sys.time()) )