diff --git a/perl/fucking-coffee.pl b/perl/fucking-coffee.pl
new file mode 100755
index 0000000..bc08054
--- /dev/null
+++ b/perl/fucking-coffee.pl
@@ -0,0 +1,49 @@
+#!/usr/bin/perl
+
+use strict;
+use warnings;
+
+use DateTime;
+use YAML;
+use Net::Telnet;
+
+# Config
+my $conf = Load( <<'...' );
+---
+coffee_machine_ip: 10.10.42.42
+password: 1234
+password_prompt: Password:
+delay_before_brew: 17
+delay: 24
+...
+
+# Skip on weekends
+my $date = DateTime->now;
+if ( $date->day_of_week >= 6 ) {
+    exit;
+}
+
+# Exit early if no sessions with my username are found
+open( my $cmd_who, '-|', 'who' ) || die "Cannot pipe who command ". $!;
+
+my @sessions = grep {
+    m/$ENV{'USER'}/
+} <$cmd_who>;
+
+close $cmd_who;
+
+exit if ( scalar( @sessions ) == 0 );
+
+sleep $conf->{'delay_before_brew'};
+
+my $con = Net::Telnet->new(
+    'Host' => $conf->{'coffee_machine_ip'},
+);
+
+$con->watifor( $conf->{'password_prompt'} );
+$con->cmd( $conf->{'password'} );
+$con->cmd( 'sys brew' );
+sleep $conf->{'delay'};
+$con->cmd( 'sys pour' );
+$con->close;
+
diff --git a/perl/hangover.pl b/perl/hangover.pl
new file mode 100755
index 0000000..dda41a9
--- /dev/null
+++ b/perl/hangover.pl
@@ -0,0 +1,73 @@
+#!/usr/bin/perl
+
+use strict;
+use warnings;
+
+use DateTime;
+use SMS::Send;
+use YAML;
+
+# Config
+my $conf = Load( <<'...' );
+---
+phone_numbers:
+  my_number: +15005550006
+  boss_number: +xxx
+reasons:
+  - Locked out
+  - Pipes broke
+  - Food poisoning
+  - Not feeling well
+...
+
+my $date = DateTime->now;
+
+# Skip on weekends
+if ( $date->day_of_week >= 6 ) {
+    exit;
+}
+
+# Exit early if no sessions with my username are found
+open( my $cmd_who, '-|', 'who' ) || die "Cannot pipe who command ". $!;
+
+my @sessions = grep {
+    m/$ENV{'USER'}/
+} <$cmd_who>;
+
+close $cmd_who;
+
+exit if ( scalar( @sessions ) == 0 );
+
+# Load Twilio API config
+open( my $env, '<', '../.env' ) || die "Cannot find .env file in project root.";
+LINE: while ( my $line = <$env> ) {
+    next LINE unless ( $line =~ m/^(TWILIO[^=]+)=(.*)(?:[\n\r]*)/ );
+    $conf->{'env'}->{ $1 } = $2;
+}
+
+close $env;
+
+# Randomize excuse
+my $reason_number = int( rand( scalar( @{ $conf->{'reasons'} } ) ) );
+my $sms_text = "Gonna work from home. ". $conf->{'reasons'}[ $reason_number ];
+
+# Create an object. There are three required values:
+my $sender = SMS::Send->new('Twilio',
+    _accountsid => $conf->{'env'}->{'TWILIO_ACCOUNT_SID'},
+    _authtoken  => $conf->{'env'}->{'TWILIO_AUTH_TOKEN'},
+    _from       => $conf->{'phone_numbers'}->{'my_number'},
+);
+
+# Send a message to me
+my $sent = $sender->send_sms(
+    text => $sms_text,
+    to   => $conf->{'phone_numbers'}->{'boss_number'},
+);
+
+# Did it send?
+if ( $sent ) {
+    print "Sent message.\n";
+} else {
+    print "Message failed.\n";
+}
+
diff --git a/perl/kumar-asshole.pl b/perl/kumar-asshole.pl
new file mode 100755
index 0000000..06db753
--- /dev/null
+++ b/perl/kumar-asshole.pl
@@ -0,0 +1,88 @@
+#!/usr/bin/perl
+
+use strict;
+use warnings;
+
+use YAML;
+use DateTime;
+use Mail::Webmail::Gmail;
+
+# Config
+my $conf = Load( <<'...' );
+---
+kumar_mail: kumar.a@examle.com
+database_regex: \S+_staging
+keywords_regex: sorry|help|wrong
+backup_path: /home/backups/databases/
+...
+$conf->{'database_regex'} = qr/ ( $conf->{'database_regex'} ) /x;
+$conf->{'keywords_regex'} = qr/ ( $conf->{'keywords_regex'} ) /x;
+
+my $date = DateTime->now->subtract(
+    'days' => 1
+);
+
+# Load GMail API config
+open( my $env, '<', '../.env' ) || die "Cannot find .env file in project root.";
+LINE: while ( my $line = <$env> ) {
+    next LINE unless ( $line =~ m/^(GMAIL[^=]+)=(.*)(?:[\n\r]*)/ );
+    $conf->{'env'}->{ $1 } = $2;
+}
+
+close $env;
+
+my $gmail = Mail::Webmail::Gmail->new(
+    username => $conf->{'env'}->{'GMAIL_USERNAME'},
+    password => $conf->{'env'}->{'GMAIL_PASSWORD'},
+    encrypt_session => 1,
+);
+
+my $messages = $gmail->get_messages( label => $Mail::Webmail::Gmail::FOLDERS{ 'INBOX' } );
+die "Cannot fetch emails: ". $gmail->error_msg();
+
+MESSAGE: foreach my $message ( @{ $messages } ) {
+    unless (
+        ( $message->{ 'new' } )
+        && ( $message->{'sender_email'} eq $conf->{'kumars_email'} )
+        && ( $message->{'body'} =~ m/$conf->{'keywords_regex'}/ )
+        && ( $message->{'body'} =~ m/$conf->{'database_regex'}/ )
+    ) {
+        print "Skipping mail from=[". $message->{'sender_email'}."] subject=[". $message->{'subject'} ."]\n";
+        next MESSAGE;
+    }
+    exit 1;
+
+    my $database = $1;
+    my $backup_file = $conf->{'backup_path'} . $database .'-'. $date->ymd() .'.gz';
+
+    unless ( -f $backup_file ) {
+        die 'Cannot find backup file=['. $backup_file ."]\n";
+    }
+
+    print 'Restoring database=['. $database .'] from day=['. $date->ymd() .'] from file=['. $backup_file ."]\n";
+
+    # Restore DB
+    system( 'gunzip -c '. $backup_file .' | psql '. $database );
+    die "Error while restoring the database=[". $database ."] from file=[". $backup_file ."]" if ( $? >> 8 );
+
+    # Mark as read, add label, reply
+    $gmail->edit_labels(
+        'label' => 'Database fixes',
+        'action' => 'add',
+        'msgid' => $message->{'id'}
+    );
+
+    $gmail->send_message(
+        'to' => $conf->{'kumars_email'},
+        'subject' => 'RE: '. $message->{'subject'},
+        'msgbody' => "No problem. I've fixed it. \n\n Please be careful next time.",
+    );
+
+    $gmail->edit_labels(
+        'label' => 'unread',
+        'action' => 'remove',
+        'msgid' => $message->{'id'}
+    );
+
+}
+
diff --git a/perl/smack-my-bitch-up.pl b/perl/smack-my-bitch-up.pl
new file mode 100755
index 0000000..4707518
--- /dev/null
+++ b/perl/smack-my-bitch-up.pl
@@ -0,0 +1,72 @@
+#!/usr/bin/perl
+
+use strict;
+use warnings;
+
+use DateTime;
+use SMS::Send;
+use YAML;
+
+# Config
+my $conf = Load( <<'...' );
+---
+phone_numbers:
+  my_number: +15005550006
+  her_number: +xxx
+reasons:
+  - Working hard
+  - Gotta ship this feature
+  - Someone fucked the system again
+...
+
+my $date = DateTime->now;
+
+# Skip on weekends
+if ( $date->day_of_week >= 6 ) {
+    exit;
+}
+
+# Exit early if no sessions with my username are found
+open( my $cmd_who, '-|', 'who' ) || die "Cannot pipe who command ". $!;
+
+my @sessions = grep {
+    m/$ENV{'USER'}/
+} <$cmd_who>;
+
+close $cmd_who;
+
+exit if ( scalar( @sessions ) == 0 );
+
+# Load Twilio API config
+open( my $env, '<', '../.env' ) || die "Cannot find .env file in project root.";
+LINE: while ( my $line = <$env> ) {
+    next LINE unless ( $line =~ m/^(TWILIO[^=]+)=(.*)(?:[\n\r]*)/ );
+    $conf->{'env'}->{ $1 } = $2;
+}
+
+close $env;
+
+# Randomize excuse
+my $reason_number = int( rand( scalar( @{ $conf->{'reasons'} } ) ) );
+my $sms_text = "Late at work. ". $conf->{'reasons'}[ $reason_number ];
+
+# Create an object. There are three required values:
+my $sender = SMS::Send->new('Twilio',
+    _accountsid => $conf->{'env'}->{'TWILIO_ACCOUNT_SID'},
+    _authtoken  => $conf->{'env'}->{'TWILIO_AUTH_TOKEN'},
+    _from       => $conf->{'phone_numbers'}->{'my_number'},
+);
+
+# Send a message to me
+my $sent = $sender->send_sms(
+    text => $sms_text,
+    to   => $conf->{'phone_numbers'}->{'her_number'},
+);
+
+# Did it send?
+if ( $sent ) {
+    print "Sent message.\n";
+} else {
+    print "Message failed.\n";
+}
+