konata/konata.sh

#!/bin/bash

# Hard requirement for lighttpd
printf "Content-Type: text/plain\n\n"

# Initialize basic variables
. /etc/konata.conf

# Parse incoming messages
input=$(cat /dev/stdin)
msg=$(jq -r '.message.text' <<< $input | sed "s/_/\ /g")
cmd=$(cut -d" " -f1 <<< $msg)
args=($(cut -sd" " -f2- <<< $msg))
chat=$(jq -r '.message.chat.id' <<< $input)
user=$(jq -r '.message.from.username' <<< $input)

# Append bot's tag to any command without one
if ! grep -q "/.*@" <<< $cmd
then
	cmd=${cmd}@$bot
fi
# Convert k.command to /command
if grep -q "k\." <<< $cmd
then
	cmd=$(sed "s/k\./\//g" <<< $cmd)
fi

# Functions for outgoing messages
sendmsg(){
	fmt=$(sed 's/\t//g' <<< $1)
	curl -sX POST "https://api.telegram.org/bot$token/sendMessage" \
		-d "chat_id=$chat" -d "parse_mode=html" \
		-d "disable_web_page_preview=true" \
		--data-urlencode "text=$fmt"
}

sendlog(){
	chat=$logchat
	sendmsg "$1"
}

sendfile(){
	curl -sF document=@"$1" "https://api.telegram.org/bot$token/sendDocument?chat_id=$chat"
}

sendpic(){
	curl -sX POST "https://api.telegram.org/bot$token/sendPhoto" \
		-d "chat_id=$chat" -d "parse_mode=html" \
		-d "photo=$1" -d "caption=$2"
}

# Internal checks
args(){
	if [ -z ${args[*]} ]
	then
		sendmsg "Don't just click me like that. See /help@$bot for more info on how to use this bot."
		exit 1
	fi
}

admin(){
	case $user in
		ghnou)	true ;;
		*)	fail ;;
	esac
	debug "Admin @$user tried to execute $cmd and was approved."
}

fail(){
	debug "User @$user tried to execute $cmd and was rejected."
	sendmsg "Sorry, you are not allowed to use this command!"
	exit 1
}

# Debugging commands
debug(){
	[ ! -z $debug ] && echo "[DEBUG] $1" >&2
}

# Public commands
help(){
	sendmsg "Hiya! I'm <a href=\"https://t.me/ghnou\">ghnou</a>'s personal bot, Konata.

	<b>Currently I have the following features:</b>
	- /help - Show this help message.
	- /alive - Check whether I'm running.
	- /cv [country] - Check COVID-19 stats.
	- /id - Get the current chat's ID.
	- /ud [term] - Get a definition from Urban Dictionary.
	- /konata - Get one of my selfies :3
	- /konachan [query] - Get a picture from Konachan.
	- /4c [board] - Get a random image from 4chan.
	- /lfy [query] - Let me look that up for you...
	- /ip [address] - Get information for an IP address.
	- /repo - Get my source code.

	And a lot more to come!"
}

alive(){
	sendmsg "Alive and well!"
}

cv(){
	args
	stats=$(curl -s "https://corona.lmao.ninja/v2/countries/${args[*]}")
	mapfile -t cv <<< $(jq -cr '.[]' <<< $stats)
	if [ "${cv[4]}" == "0" ]
	then
		updated="Perhaps the stats are not updated yet?"
	fi
	if [ ! -z ${cv[1]} ]
	then
		pct(){ bc <<< "scale = 2; $1 * $2 / $3"; }
		mil(){ bc <<< "scale = 3; $1 / 1000000"; }
		kil(){ bc <<< "scale = 2; $1 / 1000"; }
		sendmsg "<b>Today's COVID-19 stats for ${cv[1]}:</b>
		<b>Cases:</b> ${cv[4]}
		<b>Active:</b> $(kil ${cv[9]})k
		<b>Deaths:</b> ${cv[6]}
		($(kil ${cv[5]})k t, $(pct 100 ${cv[5]} ${cv[3]})% c, $(pct 100 ${cv[5]} ${cv[15]})% p)
		<b>Total:</b> $(kil ${cv[3]})k ($(pct 1 ${cv[11]} 10000)%)
		<b>Tests:</b> $(mil ${cv[13]})M ($(pct 1 ${cv[14]} 10000)%)
		<b>Population:</b> $(mil ${cv[15]})M

		Queried at $(date +'%Y-%m-%d %H:%M %Z').
		Stay safe and get yourself vaccinated!
		$updated"
	else
		sendmsg "This country doesn't have any stats!"
	fi
}

id(){
	uid=$(jq -r '.message.from.id' <<< $input)
	sendmsg "<b>User ID:</b> <code>$uid</code>
	<b>Chat ID:</b> <code>$chat</code>"
}

ud(){
	args
	enc=$(echo "${args[*]}" | sed "s/\ /%20/g")
	res=$(curl -s "https://api.urbandictionary.com/v0/define?term=$enc")
	if jq -re '.list[0].definition' <<< $res
	then
		def=$(jq -r '.list[0].definition' <<< $res | sed "s/[][]//g")
		sam=$(jq -r '.list[0].example' <<< $res | sed "s/[][]//g")
		sendmsg "<b>Definition for <u>${args[*]}</u>:</b>
		$def

		<b>Example:</b>
		$sam"
	else
		sendmsg "No definition found for ${args[*]}."
	fi
}

konata(){
	args="izumi_konata"
	konachan
}

konachan(){
	args
	query=$(sed "s/\ /_/g" <<< ${args[*]})
	data=$(curl -s "https://konachan.net/post.json?limit=1&page=1&tags=order:random%20$query")
	jpeg=$(jq -r '.[0].jpeg_url' <<< $data)
	file=$(jq -r '.[0].file_url' <<< $data)
	sfw=$(jq -r '.[0].rating' <<< $data)
	if [ $sfw == "s" ]
	then
		sendpic "$jpeg" "<a href=\"$file\">sauce</a>"
	elif [ $sfw == "q" ] || [ $sfw == "x" ]
	then
		sendmsg "This picture appears to be NSFW! Here's the <a href=\"$file\">sauce</a>."
	else
		sendmsg "No data!"
	fi
}

4c(){
	args
	tmp="/tmp/4chan"
	json="$tmp/${args[0]}.json"
	[ ! -d $tmp ] && mkdir $tmp
	[ $(find $json -mmin +60) ] && rm $json
	[ ! -f $json ] && wget -O $json https://a.4cdn.org/${args[0]}/threads.json
	thread=$(jq -r '.[].threads[].no' < $json | shuf | head -n1)
	img=$(curl -s https://a.4cdn.org/${args[0]}/thread/$thread.json | jq -r '.posts[].tim' | shuf | head -n1)
	url="https://i.4cdn.org/${args[0]}/$img"
	# TODO: Try to determine from JSON output whether image is PNG or JPG.
	sendpic "$url.jpg"
	sendpic "$url.png"
}

lfy(){
	args
	query=$(sed "s/\ /+/g" <<< ${args[*]})
	sendmsg "<a href=\"https://lmgtfy.app/?s=d&iee=1&q=$query\">Let me look that up for you</a>"
}

ip(){
	args
	ip=${args[0]}
	res=$(curl -s http://ip-api.com/json/$ip)
	# See https://0x0.st/Nlc0 for reference.
	mapfile -t data <<< $(jq -cr '.[]' <<< $res)
	sendmsg "<b>IP information for $ip:</b>
	<b>Country:</b> ${data[1]}
	<b>Region:</b> ${data[4]}
	<b>City:</b> ${data[6]} ${data[5]}
	<b>ISP:</b> ${data[10]}
	<b>ASN:</b> ${data[12]}
	<b>Time:</b> $(TZ=${data[9]} date +'%H:%M %Z')"
}

repo(){
	sendmsg "You can find my source code <a href=\"https://git.nixmagic.com/ghnou/konata\">here</a>."
}

# Administrative
mp3(){
	admin
	args
	tmp="/tmp/mp3"
	[ ! -d $tmp ] && mkdir $tmp
	sendmsg "Downloading, this might take a while..."
	youtube-dl -f 140 --max-filesize 50M -o "$tmp/%(title)s.%(ext)s" "${args[*]}"
	rm $tmp/*.part
	if [ -f $tmp/* ]
	then
		sendfile "$tmp/$(ls $tmp)"
		rm $tmp/*
	else
		sendmsg "I couldn't download this file. Perhaps it's too large?"
	fi
}

sys(){
	admin
	mtot=$(grep MemTotal /proc/meminfo | awk '{print $2}')
	mavl=$(grep MemAvailable /proc/meminfo | awk '{print $2}')
	mem=$(bc <<< "scale=1; ($mtot-$mavl) / 1024")
	ups=$(cut -d. -f1 < /proc/uptime)
	upd=$(bc <<< "$ups / 60 / 60 / 24")
	disk=$(df -h / | tail -n1 | awk '{print $3}')
	kernel=$(uname -r)
	load=$(cut -d' ' -f1,2,3 < /proc/loadavg)
	sendmsg "<b>System usage stats:</b>
	<b>Memory:</b> ${mem}M
	<b>Disk:</b> ${disk}
	<b>Kernel:</b> ${kernel}
	<b>Uptime:</b> ${upd}d
	<b>Load:</b> ${load}"
}

neo(){
	admin
	sendmsg "<code>$(neofetch --stdout)</code>"
}

sh(){
	admin
	sendmsg "<code>$(whoami)@${HOSTNAME}:${PWD}$</code> <code>${args[*]}</code>
	<code>$(echo ${args[*]} | bash - 2>&1)</code>"
}

# Notes and such
anyone(){
	sendmsg "Quite possibly. <a href=\"https://dontasktoask.com\">Why do you ask?</a>"
}

# Miscellaneous
tag(){
	sendmsg "Please stand by, he'll get to your message soon™️..."
	chid=$(jq -r '.message.chat.id' <<< $input | sed 's/-100//')
	msgid=$(jq -r '.message.message_id' <<< $input)
	uname=$(jq -r '.message.from.username' <<< $input)
	uid=$(jq -r '.message.from.id' <<< $input)
	text=$(jq -r '.message.text' <<< $input)
	sendlog "<b>You've been tagged.</b>
	<b>User:</b> <a href=\"tg://user?id=$uid\">$uname</a>
	<b>Link:</b> <a href=\"https://t.me/c/$chid/$msgid\">here</a>
	<b>Message contents:</b>
	$text"
}
hiya(){
	sendmsg "Hiya! :3"
}

# Match incoming messages
case "$cmd" in
	# Public commands
	/help@$bot)		help ;;
	/start@$bot)		help ;;
	/alive@$bot)		alive ;;
	/cv@$bot*)		cv ;;
	/id@$bot)		id ;;
	/ud@$bot*)		ud ;;
	/konata@$bot)		konata ;;
	/konachan@$bot*)	konachan ;;
	/4c@$bot*)		4c ;;
	/lfy@$bot*)		lfy ;;
	/ip@$bot*)		ip ;;
	/repo@$bot)		repo ;;
	# Administrative
	/mp3@$bot*)		mp3 ;;
	/sys@$bot)		sys ;;
	/neo@$bot)		neo ;;
	/sh@$bot*)		sh ;;
	# Notes and such
	!anyone*)		anyone ;;
esac

case "$msg" in
	# Miscellaneous
	*@ghnou*)		tag ;;
	*Konata*)		hiya ;;
esac